Breaking Point
by Eden Lies
Summary: Because battles are never won, he had said. They are not even fought.Oneshot, Kakasasu. Sasuke redefines a line that blurs truth and lies. In the process understands what its like to be his teacher.


Hello people, I'm back from the dead with another oneshot! This one is a little bit different, as it is a Kakasasu. Be mindful that this is my first time writing anything regarding this pairing, and my first time writing a boyxboy. Also, I think that there some gory moments, so if that really isn't your cup of tea do not read this. Some words are paraphrased quotes from William Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury, I do not own them. I do not own Naruto, that belongs to Kishimoto. Well, thats about it. Enjoy!

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_**Breaking Point**_

They say when you're young you have little wisdom. They say when you are young you need to be nourished, trained, and moulded into a respectable person. Over time you'll learn wrong from right, reason from irrationality, and so on. They say you'll make mistakes, but there will always be something that can be gained from such an experience. They say that there will always be people around to you help you pick yourself back up. Namely, they say to get where you want to in life your parents, your family.

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**{I've gotten there.}**

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But do they ever say that your parents could have been murdered? Do they ever say that those who teach you could be just as wrong as you are? Do they ever say that the ones who pick you back up could really just be waiting to entertain themselves with your next fall? What society says, what everyone believes in-this is the voice of reason and truth. I no longer believe in reason because I seem to have been lied to and proven wrong on all accounts.

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**{It's all his fault…}**

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My disillusionment with reason was not just a sudden revelation I had. I didn't just wake up one morning and realize, out of the blue, that the world I've been living in was a lie all along. No, its more of a chain-of-event kind of thing. A catalyst leads to another event, which leads to another, and then another. I'm sure you get the idea. In my case the catalyst would have to be the night of the Uchiha massacre.

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_I'm screaming and I'm screaming and there's blood all around me. My mother, my mother my mother she's dead dead dead. Her __**pretty**__ face isn't a face anymore-it's a skull with some mutilated flesh on it. I fall to my knees on the wet dining room floor and vomit as the scent of fresh blood clogs my senses. Once I'm done I look I don't look up again. No matter what happens, no matter what I should do, I swear to myself that I'll never witness such a sight again. My mother, my sweet, nurturing mother-she doesn't deserve this. Instead, I stare at my hands. There's thick red blood on my hands, and then I stop and I giggle insanely in my mind when I realize how ironic that sounds. I suppose in a way it is my fault, I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't __**enough**__. My brother is too wonderful, too prodigious, too perfect. My brother. He said something about sparing me, about seeing how far I could go. It hurts that in my current state, I can't go very far. Thanks to my brother, my life as I know it has come to a halt. Soon my thoughts are spiraling out of control and I can't control myself and I'm completely in a state of panic. I only wake up from my daze when the Anbu arrive and take me away from the scene of the murder. Or rather, __**murders**__, as I would later learn. When that single, plural word came out of the mouth of the Anbu man carrying me to safety, I feel faint. Faint, faint…just faint. I see sudden flashes of light, or was it sudden bursts of darkness? I gather strength to look up and I only catch a quick glimpse of the man taking me away. He wears a porcelain wolf mask, and he has a shock of wild silver hair atop his head. He senses my gaze and unconsciously tightens his grip on me. His action sends a flash of warmth through my body before I drop and become stone cold. I surrender to the darkness of unconsciousness as the world turns to shadow around me._

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**{It isn't until later that I realize that these murders, although painful, only serve to make me stronger.}**

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That day, my childhood was shattered like a priceless glass vase. All of my foundation, all of my support -things I'd known all my life- were gone in only a few minutes. Even in later years, no matter how hard I tried to find peace with myself, it would never come. Though a child may have replacement parental figures and a replacement family to learn everyday things from, it really isn't the same. It's only the ghost of what a true family bond means. Throughout my life I've had many replacements-people who consider me their friend, such as Sakura and Naruto. I've had acquaintances like Neji, Shino, and Kiba. And I've had teachers-Iruka and _Kakashi_. Out of all of these people, none of them has even an ounce of sense. Of course, except for him-Kakashi Hatake, the man with the mask of a wolf. This brings me back to my chain of events.

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**{Next ****step****: It's Kakashi…}**

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At first, he'd taken it upon himself to mentor and tutor all the members of team seven equally. He tried to get us to work together and learn the value of teamwork-an ideal very important to him. Despite Kakashi's efforts, all of us were just too incompatible. We were like oil and water-able to coexist but unable to blend together permanently. Perhaps our situation would have worked out if we had set some differences aside and learned to compromise. But human nature is selfish-no one was willing to give up more than the other. In the end, the hope that our team could have any sort of unity fell to pieces and Kakashi simply gave up. I don't blame Kakashi for this; even he can't do the impossible. But from this point on, I had lost all respect I may have had for him in earlier years. I believed him to be a lazy, prideful man who had no compassion for others and who gave up much too easily. Never could I have guessed what his true nature was like.

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_It had been a typical C-ranked mission. Kakashi, Naruto and I had set up camp for the night. Prior to our stop, we had been involved in a skirmish with some rogue ninjas. I'd only received bruises and scrapes, but Naruto had sustained a slightly serious wound to his wrist. Since Naruto had to rest, that left only Kakashi and I available to take watch shifts. I had taken the first shift, and I sat hidden in the branches of an enormous tree. I had too much time on my hands and nothing to occupy myself with except for my thoughts. They started out pretty harmless-wondering what kind of assignment Tsunade might have had for Sakura. I recalled recent conversations, what I had eaten the day before, and so on. As I thought back to what happened earlier today, I frowned a little to myself. Kakashi had appeared completely out of it-I would say delirious, even. He might have been sick, but Sakura was not here to heal him and he abhorred hospitals with a passion-Kakashi would rather die then have to set foot in a-_

_My thoughts were interrupted by a fierce rustling and the distinct sound of reverberating footsteps. I immediately cleared my head as my heart began to pound in my chest. Who was it? Had they already snuck up on the others down at the camp? What-_

_"Relax, it's only me," A familiar voice reached my ears as hands placed themselves firmly on my shoulders to keep me from jumping. I literally wilted in relief. It was just Kakashi. A moment passed and I realized that he still had not removed his hands from my shoulders. They were burning hot-he definitely had a fever. Kakashi was kneeling behind me on the huge tree branch in a way that his knees touched either side of me. _

_"You're a very bad watch, Sasuke," he said. " You get caught up in your mind and you forget to be alert and in touch with the reality around you-"He broke off suddenly and emitted a hollow, bitter laugh. It was so empty and devoid of mirth that it scared me. He was acting so strangely; it was almost as if he were a different person. Kakashi's laughter died down and for a second everything was silent. If he thought that my silence was strange, he made no comment of it. Instead, he unfolded his legs and moved them forward, with resulted in me practially being trapped between his legs. A sudden heat spread within me, and though I tried to pull away he held me in place. His arms had moved to surround my shoulders in some sort of vice-like embrace. He spoke again._

_"Not that I have the right to criticize you, Sasuke. I'm no better than you are, really. But let me tell you something. I've seen the way you act. You're out for your brother's blood. You're being just like all the other ninjas- simpleminded and single-tracked. I've seen much better shinobi then you are fall in disgrace. I'm one of those myself. The important thing is that you need to know the universal breaking point. When you're in a difficult situation, you'll know it. It's not what you feel when you realize nothing can help you-religion, pride, anything-its when you realize you don't need any aid to fall." _

_By the end of his desperate little rant, Kakashi was breathing heavily. His breath was fanning out across the base of my neck, which caused me to squirm a little. He still had not let go of me, and I was distinctly uncomfortable. I couldn't relax in his hold; there was something about it that made me want to scream. He was out of his mind, or at least seriously ill, for why else would he be behaving like this? Pride, __**breaking point**__, falling-what was he talking about? What did he mean when he said he was 'one of them'?I finally mustered up the courage to speak. _

_"But what do you mean?" I said, "I'm not at my breaking point. All I want is to beat my brother and avenge my family."_

_"Consider this," he replied, as my uneasiness grew. "You say you want to achieve victory in a battle of sorts against Itachi. But what you're not seeing is that there really is no such thing as victory-it is simply an idea invented by the stronger. Who really knows what is considered a victory?"_

_ I tried to formulate a response as my body shook. "But people believe in anything they want," I said. I turned my head back slightly to face him despite the tredipation in the back of my mind._

_Kakashi smiled sadly and responded, "No, and that's whats so sad about everything-they don't believe in anything at all. When it all comes down to it, battles are never won. They are not even truly __**fought**__."_

_I lost the little strength I had left in protesting and I simply remained silent after that. My pulse was still erratic and I couldn't catch my breath.. What was he trying to work into my mind? Why hadn't he **let go** of me yet?_

_All of a sudden, I felt wet, unmasked lips at my earlobe. My heartbeats reached unbearable levels and a shocking chill ran down my spine. _

_"And you know what else, Sasuke?" He whispered in my ear. "Shinobi need to have some __**pleasures**__ in their lives too, as __**pleasure**__ is something concrete…would you like me to help you with that?"_

_I screamed as his hand clamped down tightly over my mouth. Before I was knocked unconscious, I saw a sudden flash of what appeared to be the face of a wolf._

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**{Because battles are never won, he said. They are not even fought.}**

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That day the little piece of what was left of me cracked. How would you take it if, on top of a hard life, certain people decide to teach you how cruel the world truly is? I was introduced to theories and ideas I hadn't even thought possible before-and I realized that he was most likely right. Though much of a person's innocence lies tangible in their actions, ideas are just as susceptible to corruption as actions. That day my mind was filled with what I used to believe were lies. One day I opened my eyes, many years later, I realized that what my teacher had said was all true. Now every time I witness a display of purity or innocence in others, it makes me want to laugh. If I were to apply Kakashi's idea to everything, nothing would make sense. Because if you think about it, innocence and purity is really just something that was invented by men as well. No one actually knows what constitutes as true purity, or true innocence. Hell, I could even be an angel, depending on how things were looked at. I can't help but to laugh bitterly at the thought. With my mind and my compassion for others finally gone, I was set for the final step in my sequence.

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**{Final step: Defection}**

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I hear the whispers of people who used to be my benefactors, people who used to be my friends. Whenever I pass by people, they avoid me or give me dirty glares. I'm a traitor, they say. A disgrace. I've passed my **breaking point**, or so they believe. Even Naruto and Sakura are afraid to look me in the eye. The only person who's attitude remains virtually unchanged towards me is Kakashi. Whenever I happen to walk by, he smiles and greets me. I swiftly ignore him-after what he's done to me, he doesn't deserve a response. He tries to pretend that nothing happened that night. He can fool himself, but I'll never fall for anything he does ever again.

As I make my way down to the training grounds immersed in my thoughts, I literally run into Neji. He glares at me, and at first I think that he's just going to walk away like almost everyone else. After a second, he opens his mouth.

"How dare you show your face around here," he hisses. "Do you have any idea what your absence has caused? Defection is a horrid thing-it doesn't just affect you, it harms those around you too!"

I throw my head back and release a hollow, empty laugh, much like Kakashi's laugh of so many years ago. Neji's pupiless eyes seem a bit shocked by the sound. Finally, finally, I think I'm beginning to understand something about Kakashi.

I speak.

"_**Who ever said Defection is such a bad thing?"**_

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**_So, how was it? ^^ You know how much I like reviews, even if you feel like telling me the story sucked I'll probably get happy seeing the review anyways. :D That's all, folks!


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